..........."Sure Max, that's ok........Yeah, embezzlement, right...uh huh.... ......uh huh......sure.....right.........yeah..........right .........HBO....right.... ...........I see.....but can........uh huh........uh huh....ok, hold it for just a sec Max, I'm going on the air in less than a minute and you have to just start..................huh?.....uh huh......."(click)

Hi folks, this is Preston W. Howsley your host for the latest news on marriage, weddings and the equipment needed to accomplish these tasks. Let's continue with our discussion dealing with the ups and downs of wedding invitations.

Let me show you an example of a wedding invitation I received via email the other day. I get invited to hundreds of weddings in a year:

Mr. and Mrs. Duddley Kavorkian III
sincerely invite you to the Marriage of their precious daughter
Broomhilda
She will become locked in Matrimonial Bliss with
Charlie Z. Weedimeyer
on Saturday June 23, 2005 Three pm. at
Temple Bar Mitzvah James Episcopal Semi-Christian Church of The Holy Trinity (Reformed)
located on the corner of Clide and Marymont Streets
Boise, Iowa
The Reverend Seymour Baskerville will preside

Now this is a wedding that I will not be able to attend for various reasons, the primary one is that the bride's name is Broomhilda. But that is not the point. What is the point, you ask? I'll tell you what the point is. The point is NOT that the bride has a ridiculous name nor is the point that Charlie is probably making a huge mistake. The point is that no matter how many wedding invitations you need, you must never get involved in a project that Lucille is heading up.

The job of getting the wedding invitations printed up should go to a friend of the bride. For example, let's say that the bride has eleven friends of the female persuasion. Ok, she needs to recruit one of the eleven to do the task of wedding invitations. Let me put it another way. Let's say that the bride has twelve friends of the female persuasion. Ok, she needs to recruit one of the twelve to do the task of wedding invitations. We'll be right back after these messages and station identification:

You're listening to the WeddingNewz Report for this April 16th, 2005 from the broadcasting towers of KTSN (Q98) 98.9 FM out of Queensboro, Mendasina County. This report is made possible by listeners like you and the generous people at the K.C. Mandate Chariot Company who believe that clean air will only return when we get back to the horse and buggy.

That was not exactly right! Huh? Anyways, I want to look at new ways of enhancing your wedding invitation experience. First of all, wedding invitations do not need to be expensive. My older sister, Broomhilda was married in 1965. She was on a tight budget at the time and our parents were tight wads. Broom (that's what we called her) decided to go to the IGA and get seventeen 4ft.by 4ft. sheets of white poster board. It is at this point that you might think she was going to cut them up into many wedding invitations. On the contrary. Broom only had seventeen people to invite so she made the decision to get a black magic marker and create seventeen gigantic wedding invitations. The following is exactly how they read:

Me and Waldo, the guy I'm marrying, want you to atend when we git hitched. It's gonna be at 9:15 in the mornin at the Veterans Against Foreign Wars Hall outside of Falmouth. I need a cake, some plastic forks and a roll of paper towels. Come dressed up cause Waldo's gonna wear his brand new bowlin shirt. It's never been outta the bag.

Broom then folded them in half and put two extra 7 cent stamps on each and mailed them. Her total expense for the entire affair was $19.62. The Hall was free as she calls bingo numbers there every Thursday nite.

Well, that about wraps up another informative segment of the WeddingNews Report. Until next time when I will interview the Married Dick Van Patten, I'm

Preston Winslow Howsley