The WeddingNewz Report is made possible by you and corporate sponsors
like the R.G. Mangleprick Foundation who believe all people should eat food.
You're listening to this Report on Radio Free Europe and NPR, National Public
Radio who feel that commercial free radio is the technology of the future!

All I was trying to do is express the enjoyment that men and women have while playing the game of "badminton". Yeah, that really is the spelling of the word: "B-A-D-M-I-N-T-O-N"! What's going on here? And, while searching for the correct spelling of the word I came across extra info like the birdie is not actually a birdie; it is a shuttlecock. SHUTTLECOCK!!! What the heck...? Since I've already traveled this far in defining our title why not go all the way? Badminton came from the name of a English Duke's Residence. So some human being actually lived in a house called Badminton. What?

So, and I'm surmising from here on out, this Duke gave his house a name! Perhaps his favorite dog was called Minton. One day the Duke was outside sunbathing when Minton the dog started ripping up the phone book near the pool. The Duke hollered out "Bad Minton!!!". Yeah, no, WHAT? Badminton? What is that? Why does life take me down courses that confuse rather than inform? I'm nearly 53 years of age and I was satisfied thinking of it as a stupid game involving a 2 ounce racket and a birdie that looked sort of like a retarded tee-pee with a red nose. And it was a game called badmittin!!! or badmitin or badmitten. Why did I look it up? Why did I have to pick this idiotic game to write about when I knew fully well that this article was not going to have anything to do with it? And I promise you, the reader, that this article will have nothing to do with badminton. I can't even type the word anymore. I am growing nauseous! I puked! I was going to do an article on the ups and downs of married couples when it came to advising their friends on the proper usage of Wedding Invitations. I turned Wedding Invitations into a ridiculous study of an inept, moot and useless game that a wealthy, bored, British aristocrat decided to invent cause dirt and broken glass had already been invented. What is this article doing? I can't seem to stop. That's it! I'm just going to finish the definition of the game. Shuttlecock. That sounds dirty or informative. It sounds like a means of transportation. "Hey Chelsea, are you going to town by bike or are you going to take the shuttlecock?" What the heck was that? Now I'm even using analogies to define a dead game. When was the last time you played badminton? Better still, when was the last time you even saw people playing the game in real life, in a movie or on TV? If I wanted to run out of energy I would hot-box a pack of Pall Mall's, and bang my head against a brick wall for fifteen minutes. Not to mention I'm going to have to do a spell check on this article after I'm done. That should be a two hour task! Look, you can get out your encyclopedia and check out further information on badminton but you're not getting any more outta me. I'm thru! That's it! I'm getting outta here right now and going up to the convenient store, get a carton of Pall Mall's and two disposable lighters. See ya.

And until next time I'm
Preston Howsley

THE INAUGURATION OF MARRIAGE

FANTASY: IS IT FACT OR FICTION?

BIG BMW GIVEAWAY

THE MARRIAGE OF FIGEROA

MARRIED COUPLES ENJOY BADMIDDON

THE INVENTION OF THE WEDDING INVITATION

WEDDINGCHANNEL.COM RATED HIGH ON THE CHARTS

A CELEBRATION OF LIFE

PREVENTIVE MEASURES YOU CAN TAKE WHEN BUYING A RING

COMING SOON

Next Article
Previous Article