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THE INAUGURATION OF MARRIAGE
Preston Winslow Howsley
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January 1, 2005
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What the?...... Hi ladies and
gentlemen, boys and girls welcome to the WeddingNewz Report.
I'm your host Preston Winslow Howsley and I am honored to
bring you the most up-to-date, up-to-the-minute news
concerning the fantastic institution of Marriage. I
have been married six times myself so I consider myself a
sort of authority on this incredible ritual. At
WeddingNewz we have reporters in the field and a staff of
finely tuned Wedding Experts. Between the twenty-six member
crew at the station there have been a total of 77 marriages
So inexperience is not a factor here!
We will report to you the latest styles in
wedding apparel, how to plan your wedding from A to Z and
direct you to the finest locations for all your needs
including Weddings Invitations,
Wedding Seals and the all important Weddings Rings.
Marriage is not something to take lightly. It is the bonding together of a man and a woman into holy
matrimony. Some of the most recognized individuals in
history have been married. There was Abe Lincoln, he was
married. There was also Rip Torn. I think he was
married. What about Eva Braun? Now she wasn't actually married but
she probably had her own pretend ceremony that would necessitate all the gear and regular
stuff that a normal person would use in a real wedding.
There are both president Bushes. They are married. Not to each other but to women.
Then look at the Hollywood bunch. What a grand total of marriages
there! I think Madonna's wedding to that actor, what's
his name, William Penn, cost two billion dollars. But
don't let the cost of your wedding keep you from taking the
plunge into marital bliss. We here at WeddingNewz will
give you the secrets to budget weddings. As a matter of
fact, we will have a periodical segment titled, "Secrets
to....uh...Secrets to a cheap.....no, Secrets to a Budg....Yeah,
that's it a segment titled, "Secrets To A Budget Wedding".
It's been in the works for months.
We will have guests on the show from time to
time taking your emails and phone calls with some of the
most informative, expert information you will find anywhere.
We want to be the leading authority on Marriage in the whole
World and what not. Our first guest slated for
February, 2005 is Roy from Ziegfried and Roy. Now that
show will not have much to do with marriage or wedding
planning but you will get to ask him just how bad does it
hurt when a full grown, violent lion rips three
quarters of your flesh off.
So, there you have it. Reporters stationed around the globe, high-tech equipment,
knowledgeable staff, Weddings Invitations,
Rip Torn, Roy Ripped Torn, and everything you ever wanted to know about
the institution of marriage but were afraid to ask.
You can ask us!
I'll see you next time on the brand new
WeddingNewz Report.
Preston
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